Tuesday 1

Why do I need them to be any different from the way they are? They’re simply stuck and not searching as deeply, they live closer to the surface and it’s what they want. I feel like i deserve to search in my own way, at my own pace, and they are doing that too. we’re not so different. I’m so quick to separate myself, brought up to compete, compare and envy, that I become so detached from life. I know life wants me to love it, and everyone in it, inseparable from it, but I find it so hard not to feel separate at times. The is a river inside me, running between my heart and my programming that’s slowly running dry as I fall into life’s open arms. I’ve only ever known to compare and compete and judge and feel jealous or guilty. I carry this deep shame that society deems me not good enough. I forget that society is more than the lifeless structure i once made up as a way to cope, I forget that at its core, we are society, beautiful people with beating hearts, lost in the traffic of our pain.

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