How do we trust in life when a shadow is cast over everything that was going fine? How do we trust life when we lose things that mean a lot to us?
Each blow to the heart leaves its mark. Do not lose faith. Let each blow soften you to the true nature of life and soon you will see again that everything is in in its right place. Blessed is the man who has suffered and found life.
Today was one of those days i’ll probably never remember, but one of many that stand as roots inside me. Hard days lived in faith are the building blocks for a strong will and a sure heart. Discipline means many days like this, and as Rilke says, “The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things.” Each act of faith through a hard moment, becomes a footstep towards who you were born to be.
Another day another try at standing up and taking off that heavy coat of self pity, allowing the sadness of loss, but choosing faith in the unknown over waiting for sympathy, or wishing for others help when I don’t let help in. I don’t know the answers and it takes practice not to go scrambling for them when you suddenly feel that deep loss of self. It’s the self that’s left that goes scrambling for what disappeared, and it takes a lot of a much bigger strength -or the belief in that much bigger strength even when you can’t feel it- to see the peace that never leaves. Over time there is less of me around, and more space to be filled up with that bigger strength. And more space for music, as i become the instrument. But for now, discipline and quiet faith. Life is long and full of days, hours and minutes, to fail with, to learn from and to be with.